Tag Archives: Entertainment

Strength within.

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That person you fell in love with whom deceived you, that’s a hammer.The guy who flipped you off in traffic today, he’s severe weather. Those stresses? Tiny cracks on the surface. Things that will beat away at something until it finally gives way to their pressures, without second thought to the erosion it leaves behind, the corrosion it inflicts.

In the center of all the synapses and veins, amongst the slabs of movement and an intestinal prison, lies stone. Made to persevere all of the elements and ensure the march carries on at a pace unseen since 330 BC. Some masonry remains in tact through avoidance, a lack in the ability to face problems head on under the assumption that shying from the pain will cause minor cracks, but they can be written off as weathering due to time. Other stories are made through tackling the troubles out to abrade it’s sturdy exterior.

Either way, it’s inside of us. The ability to fight or flee, to crack or totally crumble. There are rocks at the end of the journey, a little more beat up than others. The stories they can share at the finish line vary like the time it takes to pressurize a diamond, and in the end may there be an ear intrigued to hear them. Here’s to hoping it’s full of adventure, of heart break and doubt. With joy and elation from that same broken heart now mended and scarred. To the belief we can all find that strength within.

Men gon’ train her…

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A lot of unnecessary outrage over Meghan Trainor’s new video, “Dear Future Husband”. Everyone seems to think it’s a song promoting being a housewife and being subordinate to your man. It almost seems as if no one listened to the words, specifically the part where she says, “You’ve got a 9-5, but so do I. So don’t be thinkin’ I’ll be home baking apple pies.” If anything, a lot of the lyrics are a message to treat your Woman right and make her happy.

However, what I ask is, what if a Woman just wants to be a housewife? What if she’s perfectly fine staying home, cooking, cleaning and taking care of the kids? Does this make her a bad Woman? If you ask anyone behind a Women’s Lib movement, the answer is a resounding yes. To suggest every female in the United States must be working, making equal pay and out of the house or else she’s a slave (I can only make this assumption seeing as how you’re battling for “liberation”) is an oppression of a Woman’s choice.

What about unemployed Fathers who do the same? Shouldn’t a huge motive of the movement be to ensure that every Woman has the right to choose what makes her happy? The point seems to focus less on getting every Woman equal status, and more on making sure every Woman WANTS equal status. The shaming of these Women almost makes the core values of the movement seem unproductive.

Possibly there are just some bad apples, as always seems to be the case, and other’s support and approve of the life choices, I just haven’t seen many. If you’re a housewife and you enjoy it, do you. If you’re a housewife and you don’t, find a chick with Birkenstocks and hairy legs and find out what you can do to change that.

And to all those who oppose a Woman’s right to choose how she spends her day, I really wish you had died of Toxic Shock Syndrome.

That Man in the Mirror…

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I don’t know what it is about my buddy Chris’ bathroom mirror, but I look really good in it. Whether it be the lighting and the angle of shadows, or perhaps the glass was tempered differently, I look 11% more attractive in his mirror. At times, I think about setting up my dates for his bathroom in some weird, abstract way but I feel that really limits my pool of choices to Yoko Ono artsy types, and we all know what happens after you meet a Yoko Ono artsy type. You lose are your friends, you start dressing differently, you get shot, it’s no good!

Then I get into thought about it. I’m the same person outside of that mirror as I am in it so why do I feel this way? I feel pressured to look better at any given time than I already do when I’m trying my best and that’s not a good feeling. I’m almost 30 years old and I still haven’t figured out that it really doesn’t matter all that much. Being caught up in someone’s opinion of me only hinders me from progress as a person. Sure, they’re are plenty of day-to-day activities you may have to alter who you are to get by, work or what have you, but on my own time, during my own bathroom regiment, why should I stop to take time to compare Chris’ Bathroom mirror to mine? Something so trivial. What else am I doing this with in life?

Just live and along the way cool shit will happen to you. Spend it stuck on the minor details and you may miss the big picture. Everyone sort of goes through puberty twice. Once your body changes, and then later on your mind changes. You spend some years getting comfortable with the person you are growing into and then you be that person. Age differs for most, as is apparent here, but as long as you embrace the change, love who you are, and continue forward, that’s all you can really hope for. You will see the change in yourself, whether in your mirror or a stranger’s.

Jerking off to Nicki Minaj

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I gave in. That Anaconda video is just too damn dope. I’ve always found her beautiful, but now that she has decided to go with more of a natural look, there is just no denying that Ms. Onika Minja is a true beauty. Do I think some of her assets are fake? Sure, but by that logic I shouldn’t eat Kraft Singles and I’m not giving those up anytime soon. So far you can see the gratification derived from sexual imagery and food that makes up my pleasure center.

I did it with Cocoa Butter as opposed to Jergens. Seemed appropriate.

There’s a rumor that she hooked up with Zac Efron. I like to think I’m the real world Zac Efron, in the sense that I’m charming, witty, talented but I just have the body type of a wet bag of laundry. Deep down, I feel eventually Zac Efron will give up and find himself jerking off to Nicki Minaj, late night, six pack abs having given way to a cookie dough factory of a stomach and a really mangy beard that would get him through the harshest of Minnesota winters.

I’m pretty sure this is what my ancestors died for in the Civil War. The right for me to jerk off to Nicki Minaj. Actually I’m pretty sure my ancestors came over on a boat long after slavery with their stupid, Irish dirt faces gnawing on potatoes and picking lice out of their stupid, Irish red-beards but it’s sounds cooler to say they fought for the North rather than that scenario, or the adverse, giving Nicki Minaj’s great-greats 40 lashes.

In the great words of the hip hop group Dead Prez — “fuck welfare, we say reparations.” Hopefully one day someone owns up to the travesties and supplies 40 acres and a mule for those effected by such a dark time in American history. We undoubtedly have enough acres, I think the problem is coming up with 41,096,749 mules for the estimated African American population.

Anyways, Nick Minaj could get it.

Pedometer Rollover

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I’m lucky I don’t care about the age of my shoe since it just so happens to coincide with the fact that I’m often broke. I kept a pair of Converse so long it was just walking barefoot by the end of their tenure. They don’t offer me much comfort to begin with so being years old wasn’t really helping my knees argument for better quality sneaker. Posture too, always clamoring for good Posture.

I said some cliche shit, just to myself, about how it’s the memories attached to them that makes me keep them so long. Which made me laugh at how corny I was being, though jokingly, I still began to think about how many steps I’d taken since first purchasing some of my footwear. I found myself sad thinking of, yes, how many literal steps they had taken, but where the furthest point from which I stepped to where I stood measured out to be.

I own a pair of shoes that have been probably as far as Hagerstown, Maryland to see some family for Christmas. I’ve been as far south as Annapolis being as how I resided there with my Girlfriend of the time, but have been as far as Miami. Just have gotten new shoes since then. It makes me sad for the shoes I own now, having not seen more of the miles this earth has to offer.

So here’s to more variety in use. Not necessarily to an increase in wear and tear, merely a promise to wear them in all sorts of situations to tear things up. May they hold strong as I do and may states move like weeks. There’s a lot of World out there to see and it’s a real pain to do with bare feet, so lets make that $50 you shell out mean something.

Karma Physics

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Does Karma really exist?

In my opinion, no. I think Karma can appear to be a force in nature, but really I think it’s more of a term designed to describe exactly what you’re doing to keep your life going a certain way. They say the only change comes from within, and I can’t help but think that’s exactly what supports the idea of Karma. If a thief hangs out with thieves, more than likely he will experience a theft. A liar whom hangs out with liars is going to be told a lie.

“Well Kenny, I may have cheated on past partners but I was completely faithful to my significant other in this case and they still cheated on me.”

Then you need to ask yourself, did you take the proper time to heal and make the changes necessary to not hang in the same company? Too often people rush into rebounds, or don’t allow enough time to truly get healthy, both emotionally and mentally. Chances are, unbeknownst to you, that you were attracted to this person based on qualities you yourself harbor. Not necessarily good ones either. You were blind to it at no fault of your own. Now you’re at a crossroad on whether to complete a transformation as a person, or to become jaded and resort back to your old ways but I think we all know that we get you nowhere.

Once a cheater, always a cheater isn’t the case. A cheater who does not heal what ails them, yes. A cheater who takes the time to reflect, address the wounds and begins to sew the sutures has all the chance in the World to find true, lasting love. However, if that person rushes into a new relationship, or seeks out someone as unhealthy as they are in a relationship, they are destined to experience the pain again.

You are your Karma.

Today, the Terrorists Won

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These two, huh?

Today, just about every theater in America decided against screening the upcoming Comedy “The Interview”. A violation of free speech? Perhaps. A grim look at the future? Maybe. Completely and totally a dick move on the part of North Korea. WITHOUT A DOUBT.

I’m not here to argue or nitpick about the first amendment and whose right it is to do what. No, instead, I am here to mourn the end of a terrific streak. Far mightier than Cal Ripken’s consecutive start record. Way cooler than the Undertaker. I’m talking about the streak of movies I’ve had my butt in the seat for which starred Seth Rogen.

Not a single one has let me down!

And yet, now it is broken. It will lay in the annals of time as one of the most historic days of our lives: the day the beautiful, wonderful, Semitic Superhero known as Seth Rogen was stripped of his title as “Comedy King”.

I even loved “The Green Hornet”. Can you believe it? “The Green Hornet”. Saw it twice.

Now one may argue that this is a bad look for America, and to that I say “nevermind!” There is a bigger issue at hand here. These Freaks and Geeks over at North Korea have taken this thing too far. Blow up a school, nuke a nursing home for Christ’s sake. But why attack Seth? For what? For trying to make us laugh?

It’s wrong, North Korea. It’s wrong. However, I will thank you for this. You have now given us a valid reason for pirating. We’re still going to see this movie, North Korea. We stand, hands across America, our fingers to our mouses ready to eat up those GBs, son. We will not go quietly into the night. Instead, we will march valiantly to our rooms, dens, and man-caves.

We will download. We will see a depiction of your leader fall on 13″-17″ monitors everywhere. Some people will even have two screens. You can take our popcorn, but you can never have.. OUR BANDWIDTH!

South Korea is where it’s at anyway, honestly,